About Me
Hi, my name is Jacquie and I have been touched and involved in Mental Health for a good portion of my life. I didn’t go to University or anything like that to become a mental health professional. I have learned through personal experience, support groups and self-help. My first husband was diagnosed bi-polar when he was 25 years old. We lived a very turbulant life, with frequent hospitalizations, loss of work, alcoholism and the on again, off again routine of him taking his medication.
We were fortunate enough, through our turbulant life, to have 3 wonderful children. The middle child, who is just 15, has already had 2 hospitalizations with, what looks like, bi-polar disorder. You see, because he is only a youth, they do not like to put a label on his mental state, but instead, they treat the symptoms, such as racing thoughts and inability to sleep etc.
I have learned through the years that most people I know have been touched somehow by mental illness. I can truly say that I wish that it never happened in my family, but that is not the case. It has forced me to learn as much about it as I possibly can so that I can support my loved ones in the most effective manner that I can. Needless to say, this takes alot of strength that is not always there and I am learning that that’s alright too.
Because I have found that communication and information from those in similar circumstances have been my best areas of support, I have created this website so that people can post their comments, concerns, recommendations or maybe just to talk against any one of the articles or posts supplied from our team of talented and knowledgable writers. Please feel free to share your stories with our readers. That is how a lot of us have been able to cope and learn about mental health.
I hope to hear from you and I hope that you are able to learn and take away information from my website that will help you in your situation.
Hi, there at the moment I am waiting for my husband to ‘come down’ after 3 weeks of manic and anger it will be any day now, I have learnt the pattern so well, but the cycles seem to be lasting longer than ever before.We are now facing losing our home and I have filed for divorce this week because I am at the end of the road, he doesn’t believe he has bi-polar and in some respects I can agree as he manages to convince others that he is fine, but the anguish that the kids and I are going through everytime has come to a turning point. I have a catalouge of events that could have him removed from his job instantly and a catalogue of criminal activity that would have him locked up for a very long time, I know that he would have been seriously injured or locked up by now if he had not have had a home as secure as I and the kids have made it in the past, but we no longer have to strength to carry on living this double edged life that he keeps going into every 3 weeks or so. I am desperate for some help. Please can you point me in the right directiion, I have had councilling, anti-depressants, I have moved away from him, I have had injunctions on him. But I do love him and when he is not manic he is a wonderful person and fantastic dad. But when having the house taken from us is staring us in the face because of his binge drinking and spending. Or when my health and safety is at risk. When the kids are actually becoming depressed because they are older now and see the patterns as I do I cannot carry on I need some real practicle advice. Solicitor-done Doctor-done Councillor-done Womens Aid-done Parents and friends - done. All done and at the end of the line.
Marie, your story is so familiar to me. I, too, was at the place that you are at now and one day you will wonder where you got all your strength from.
The bottom line is that you need to do what’s best for your kids. I hesitate to advise you on the route that you take. Though, in my case, even though we had some rough times afterwards, I never looked back after my husband and I divorced. Times weren’t easy after our divorce, but they got to a point that was. I sometimes think that it would take a full blown saint to live through some of the times that I did.
We have gone from having his calls blocked right down to having a restraining order. He went on manic binges that lasted for months on end. With everything that went on in his life, I sometimes wondered how he survived. At times when he hit bottom, I always helped and occasionally had to get him hospitalized. It took about 7 years after our divorce for him to really realize that he needed to get help. He quit drinking - or has the occasional drink, is leveled out on medication and works full time again.
During this time, I did my best to foster a good relationship between the kids and him. I told him that I would not let the kids see him when he was manic as he was just too unpredictable. I think in the back of his mind, he understand and accepted that decision. Other than that, I never limited the children’s exposure to him, but instead talked to them about the bipolar disorder, so that they could understand the way he behaved at times. Today, the kids all love their father and I believe that it was because of the kids, that he wanted a life and wanted to get better.
Keep you strength and do what’s best for the kids and yourself. You need to be a good, effective parent and it’s so hard to do that when your energy is going somewhere else. Try to help, but my advice would be to help from the outside.